Project Eggychan
by not the usual baka
Summary: As the title suggests it's about the yugioh gang looking after some falcon eggs and a little word of advice that insanity has a large role in this fic! There will not be any lemons! R&R please
1. Science is EVIL!

Project Eggy-chan 

Not the usual baka: the evil idea of having the yugioh gang looking after falcons is almost random! But none the less, it would be very entertaining and amusing to write I hope weak grin. This story is not supposed to have any pairings as in lemony stuff and I apologize to all the science teachers out there before this story starts for Science unfortunately is one of my best subjects and I happen to give the science teacher in this story a bad name.

Malik: so on with the story already! Oh and baka doesn't own anything apart from her crazy ideas.

* * *

**Chapter 1 Science is evil!**

It was yet another ordinary day for the Yugioh gang. Wake up, school, job, and sleep.

English boring, maths stupid, PE sucks, social studies lame, Tech random, music tone-deaf, and Science ... EVIL!

The class stared wide-eyed with shock written all over their faces. The science teacher, Mr. Tamago Atama, had just given them the most irritating and evil project in the whole wide world. They had to look after a few falcon eggs for the rest of the term and the school holidays to see how they hatch, grow up and so on and write a diary about it.

The silence only lasted a few seconds before the girls began screeching "KAWAII" and things on the lines of how cool it would be to raise a falcon chick.

"O.k. class, settle down!" Mr. Tamago Atama yelled above the screeching girls. "I will call out the pairs that you are working with then you will get the falcon eggs to look after."

Malik gulped 'There is no way in hell that I am going to be working with Gardner! Oh well I've got the perfect solution.' He slowly gripped onto his Millennium Rod to rearrange the pairings.

"Ryou Bakura and Bakura Akume

Tea Gardner and Tristan

Malik Ishtar and Marik Ishtar

Seto Kaiba and Joseph Wheeler

Yugi Mouto and Yami Atem."

Blah, blah, blah...

Malik smiled at his little piece of work, 'At least my yami is better than that cheerleader'.

"O.k. sit yourself by your partner while I bring the eggs around."

Tristan was just about to faint for having to work with Tea. Joey and Kaiba were glaring at each other just about to kill. While the rest of the class smiled ever so happily at whom they were paired with.

"Good job hikari" Malik jumped slightly as Marik came to sit down on his desk with his trademark smirk on his lips.

"Well you're welcome yami, or would you prefer working with the Pharaoh instead?"

"Get real, of course I prefer you than that spoiled, pathetic Pharaoh." Malik laughed as he was handed the falcon egg.

"Now this is going to be interesting ne yami?"

"What do you mean? Like I'm going to eat that poor, little falcon's egg that has been handed into our care."

"That was exactly what I had in my insane mind at that moment."

"Blah. Anyway I prefer falcons over other birdies so let's see what our one looks like within I don't know how long."

"O.k. wanna bet whether it's going to be a girl or a boy?"

"Yep, I bet a thousand yens that it's a boy."

"Fine I bet the same amount for a girl."

"You're going to lose! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Settle down! Now let me explain how this project is going to work ..." (No one was listening)

RING! Everyone dumped their books into their bags all the while holding the container containing the egg in one hand and rushed out of door before the teacher can yell at them to be careful with the egg.

* * *

TBC

Meaning to the Japanese terms are:

Tamago egg

Atama head

Now you see why I was so mean to the poor science teacher!

Akume demon, devil

Bakura: I think so indeed!

Marik: Read and review! Blah, blah, blah!


	2. Welcoming Deathlike

**Project Eggy-chan**  
  
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah Yu-Gi-Oh! Does not belong to me.  
  
Chapter 2: Welcoming Deathlike

_Takes place in the evening_  
  
"Don't you think this is so cool yami? We get to look after a falcon chick after it hatches, I hope it will hatch soon, I can't wait."  
  
Bakura looked mildly interested as the hyper-active hikari bounce literally around the room while holding the egg (which means the poor falcon inside is going to get a headache, a really bad one too).  
  
"I almost fell sorry for that birdie with you shake that egg so much, you might just kill it before it even hatches." Bakura said in that I-really- don't-care tone.  
  
Ryou stopped immediately, frozen like a statue, holding the egg between fingers that shook wildly.  
  
"You are hopeless hikari." Bakura added, taking the egg out of Ryou's hands. "Get a blanket or something like that here now won't you."  
  
Ryou gulped before dashing off to get the blanket. When he came back to the living room, he saw that his yami had put the egg down on a pile of tea towels and he had cleared the table of its contents dumping them on the couch.  
  
"Well what are you doing standing there, bring the blanket over and cover the egg up. We don't want it to get cold and die, just as much as it shouldn't be shaken to death Ryou."  
  
Ryou mentally slapped himself for being so stupid and hurried over to the egg putting the blanket gently around it.  
  
"How long will it take be before the birdie hops out of that egg?" Bakura asked.  
  
"That depends on how long this falcon takes to grow strong enough to break the shell of the egg." Ryou said as he opened up his science textbooks trying to find out what they'll be needing to help a growing falcon chick "Yami do we have any worms in the garden?"  
  
Bakura choked on his Coke "Why do you ask me when you could go outside and find out for yourself!"  
  
Ryou gulped again "sorry yami ...hmm..."  
  
"Just spit it out."  
  
"I don't want to spit on the floor..."  
  
"No you baka, just say whatever you have on your mind before I chuck something at you."  
  
"I was wondering whether...hmm...ow!!! That hurts Bakura!!!"  
  
Bakura rolled his eyes as Ryou sprinted out of the room trying to clean himself of the Coke that has stained onto his infamous blue and white striped shirt. 'Geez Ryou exaggerates too much, it was just Coke not a chair or something dangerous, but darn I wasted a good can of coke and now there isn't a single thing that tastes good in the fridge.' Shaking his head he picked the can up examined it thoroughly for any last drops of the drink before throwing it in the bin.  
  
Ryou came back to the living room some twenty minutes later wearing a dark red collared long-sleeved shirt, picking his way cautiously in case there was another flying object coming at him.  
  
"Ryou" Bakura looked at his hikari through suspicious eyes "I never knew you had a shirt like that."  
  
"I don't."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I found it in your wardrobe."  
  
"Why are you wearing my clothes?"  
  
"So you'll think twice before chucking something at me."  
  
"I don't need to if you take the shirt off."  
  
"Pervert! I'm not taking it off."  
  
"Really now." (AN: This is where my ears went deaf.)  
  
"Yes it is extremely comfortable and before you say anything else, what's that noise?"  
  
Bakura looked around "What noise?"  
  
Ryou practically squealed, "Its hatching!"  
  
Bakura's eyes would've popped out if it wasn't for fact that Ryou was hugging him, wrinkling the **shirt**.  
  
A small, delicate white baby falcon came out slowly looking kind of drunk because it fell to its feet at each step before squalling for food and his mummy. (AN: And this is where fan girls all go "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")  
  
Ryou walked forward to pet the baby falcon, only to find that it was crying.  
  
"Stupid hikari." Bakura shook his head and went off to get some mince in the fridge to feed the poor thing.  
  
"Yami!!! What are we going to do?" Ryou bounced around the in panic.  
  
"We have to feed it silly." Bakura came back with a plate of mince.  
  
"And how do we feed a baby falcon that won't stop crying?" Ryou looked at Bakura as if he had no idea of what's going on.  
  
"Hopeless hikari." Bakura set the plate down beside the egg before picking the falcon up carefully and brought it close to the plate hoping it could feed itself.  
  
"I don't think that working Bakura."  
  
"Don't any of your stupid books teach you how to feed them?" Bakura was really irritated now, he was hoping when the falcon learns to fly, it could peck the Pharaoh silly, but it seems like this falcon has gotten the Ryou personality.  
  
"No it doesn't have anything on that, learning how to feed the falcon is part of the project." Ryou sighed.  
  
Bakura put the falcon down on the table before turning around ever so slowly and looked at Ryou "but...that's impossible! Who was the idiot that planned this project?"  
  
"The teacher..."  
  
"I'll kill him, I swear I'll kill him."  
  
"Err... what da hell is that?!"  
  
"What is it this time?" Bakura turned to look at the crying baby falcon who was looking at a rather large, purely black falcon that has gotten in through the window.  
  
The new arrival produced a sort of calming chirp while landing between the baby falcon and the plate of mince; it caught the full attention of everyone there. (AN: Yes this is the grand entrance of the almighty falcon.)  
  
Then as if seeing an old friend again the baby falcon stumbled and tripped his way over to the older falcon as it was eating half of the contents on the plate. When the poor baby falcon finally got there (beside the black falcon), how unfortunate of it that even babies have a tight grip on things they catch, that a few of its precious feathers were pulled off. The unfortunate black falcon screamed but the regurgitated bits and pieces of mince got kind of stuck in between the throat, half choking it while the innocent, little falcon started to eat the bits that managed to get out of the beck.  
  
"That is gross." Bakura commented as Ryou rush off to the bathroom to puke up.  
  
It wasn't until another half an hour later that Ryou came back, the baby falcon has fallen asleep, and the black falcon had gotten all the mince out of him.  
  
"That is definitely not going to happen for the next few weeks."Ryou shook his head violently.  
  
"Do you have any other ways of feeding that birdie?" Bakura remarked. "Now what are we going to do with you?" Staring directly at the black falcon that is tending to its wounds.  
  
"I wonder how it got here."  
  
"Does it matter? What we really need is a name for this falcon. Something dark and evil, yes, of course." Bakura practically skipped up to his room and flew back down the stairs carrying in his hand the only book in his room, the 'French-English dictionary'.  
  
All Ryou could do was blink while watching his yami and the falcon choose a name.  
  
"No,no,no,no,no! Ah that's better, how about this one?"  
  
The black falcon shook his head, and then brought its talons down by another word.  
  
"Cadavérique? It means deathlike, of course, it's excellent, perfect. Ryou, what do you think?"  
  
"It is fine, but I'm choosing the baby falcon's name!"  
  
"Fine choose, but it better not be a girly name."  
  
And so Ryou flicked through quite a lot of pages "Bakura how about this one?"  
  
"Hmm... Niais? You have got to be kidding me right. It means simple, foolish, silly, and dumb."  
  
"Well you did say I get to choose and it is not a girly name."  
  
"Grr... Fine! It's a weakling's name."  
  
Poor, little Niais started crying.

* * *

End of Chapter 2  
  
AN: Aww, poor Niais. And thanks to all the reviewers that reviewed for the story.

And yes, before I forget Ryou and Bakura are out of character so don't bother wondering what happened to them.

Niais: chirp! R&R please.


	3. Commencing Ultimate Destruction

Project Eggy-chan

**Not the usual baka:** Terribly sorry for the very late updates on this chapter, and any other stories of mine that you may be reading. But yes at last I finished a chapter, quite a bit shorter than usual but I hope that you will find it more interesting. With no more to it, let's begin the third chapter of Eggy-chan.

**Ryou:** baka does not own a thing that is called "Yu-Gi-Oh!"

**Chapter 3Commencing Ultimate Destruction**

"Niais please calm down, stopping crying, no one will hurt you I promise." Ryou was desperately trying to get the little baby falcon to stay in his "nest", so they could go to school. "Bakura! Where is Cadavérique?"

Bakura came out of his room dressed in the school uniform looking ready to send it to the shadow realm at any moment now, he looked up at his hikari after giving the offending uniform one last glare, replied "He went out to hunt silly hikari, said something about bringing lunch to Niais in the afternoon though. Don't tell me you still can't control that white feathery creature of yours."

Ryou looked utterly clueless to what to do next with Niais. "I can't help it if Niais thinks of Cadavérique like a mum as well as brother, friend and all those things." He tried to pat Niais's head while packing the rest of his things with his free hand.

Bakura could do nothing but stand back, sigh and enjoy the scene of the panicking hikari trying to deal with the newest member of the family. After approximately ten minutes of watching his hikari and his failing attempts, Bakura then unenthusiastically came to Ryou's aid picking up the packed, new school bag filled with books, stationery, food, drinks, and many, many things that Niais might need. Then telling Ryou to carry the "nest" with Niais safely tucked inside it, they headed off to the evil school, with the evil teachers within.

As most people would expect, Niais quickly became the centre of attention as soon as the albinos walked through the school gates, only Bakura's glare seem to keep those giggly girls and brainless bullies at bay. And with all the luck they've been having in the past 24 hours, guess what their first class is. (smirks sarcastically)

You guessed correctly, the first class is not homeroom, cause it's not a class, they just sit there. Want to guess again? Oh, don't bother. I'll tell you what it is, IT'S SCIENCE!

Niais blinked in confusion. Mommy Ryou had just brought him into a really odd room with really odd stuff in it, and it smelt odd too.

Mr Tamago Atama was organizing the class into little groups to have group discussion on ways to care for falconlings. He, of course, did not notice that one of the eggs had hatched already, even though half of the class was pointing and trying very hard to pat that certain white, little falcon, who was scared by the waves of evil fingers trying to get at his territory.

Joey, being ever-so-smart, decided to pat little Niais too. Kaiba, being a Kaiba, sat back to enjoy watching the inevitable happen. "OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Joey screamed as if his finger has been pulled off. Little Niais was clutching his latest prize in his small, but extremely strong and sharp-edged beck. Bakura, Kaiba and quite a few others could do nothing but laugh at the red-faced Joey who was struggling to free his precious finger from the very much innocent looking falconling.

"Niais! Let go of his finger!" Ryou snapped, giving a firm knock on Niais's head to reinforce his command. Eventually after half a minute Niais woke up from his minor concussion, releasing Joey's finger to scream his utmost rage for the mortals who dared to try to invade his territory.

Everyone in the science lab blinked, frozen in their places wandering whether a thunder bolt was going to strike them down for making Niais all pissed off. Yep, Niais is extremely possessive of his territory. And guess what, no thunder bolt came to strike them down, instead in its place came a black falcon screaming his own rage for hearing that someone tried to come anywhere within five miles of his new companion. Now if there was any moment like it, they ran for their lives. They have enraged another possessive falcon and this time it is a fully grown one.

"How ya doin' Cadavérique?" Bakura asked in delight. Now if only the stupid Pharaoh had ran like those other mortals did at the sight of **my** black falcon, then victory will be mine, an afterthought of our favourite tomb robber.

"Bonjour Bakura. Purr-fect." Cadavérique replied. He hopped over to Niais's nest to check up on the little fella.

Meanwhile, it seems as if science class is already over, only the gang stayed where they were at the arrival of Cadavérique. Joey was sucking on his bleeding finger while somehow muttering about evil falconlings, which resulted in receiving a sharp peck from Cadavérique. Kaiba was wondering whether the mutt will get pecked again and again when the falcon egg that they are in charge of hatches. Yami and Yugi were discussing whether this is a sign from the gods, that somehow they have made the Egyptian god, Horus, angry enough that he would send one of the precious French-specking-falcons to punish them. Gardner and Taylor are still in shock. The blond Ishtars are plotting how to control falcons' minds in bring about world domination. And last but not least, Ryou and Bakura are having an interesting chat in French with Cadavérique.

The first class of the day could not be better, with the arrival of yet another little falcon hatching at the end of science. It was the Ishtars' egg! Hell was laughing by now, this new arrival was also white in colour, there were bloody red eyes staring in fascination, and what appear to be small Bakura-like bunny ears as decorative feather pieces on the falcon's head.

Malik and Marik were in crazy mode happiness. "Is it a boy or a girl?" They asked.

Cadavérique stared through narrow slits "Jeune fille."

The Ishtars blinked.

Bakura sighed almost in frustration, but translated anyway "He said that thing is a little girl."

"Ah ha! I told you so Marik, it is a girl. Now cough it up while I think of a name for her. Isn't she pretty?" Malik clapped in victorious mode happiness, and then sat patting the new falconling that has finally reached the world of "the science lab", thinking about names.

Marik looked troubled 'Why must Ishizu be so mean to stop giving me pocket money for a month? Now I'm broke, and it was all because I stole the stupid Pharaoh's homework. Damn!'

"Of course! I know what to call you now little falcon. I'll name you after one of baka's characters, mmm… let's see… nonono… ah ha found it! Baka's most prized character of ultimate destruction file no. 1. Your name shall be… sounds of a storm approaching could be heard … Kaitrik!" Malik said and looked in a manic mode of happiness.

Niais, Cadavérique and Kaitrik screamed their welcomes to the world that shall soon feel their ultimate… CURIOSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Yes, this is a short chapter. Yes, it is kinda really weird. Yes, I do know the fact that this chapter is weird. Anymore questions?

Yes, some characters are a little bit weird, out of character.

Yes, I know I got Joey hurt in this chapter. Yes, I'm terribly sorry about that madam, didn't know you were a fan of Joey Wheeler.

Yes, that are sometimes people who get struck by thunder or lightning.

No, I'm not sure if all falcons are possessive as Niais and Cadavérique, but then again they are made up characters that happen to be very not natural.

Yes, Cadavérique actually did speak words that are understandable, a bit of French here and there. His voice is a little bit like a parrots. No, he is not a cross-breed species. He is a French-speaking-falcon sent from Horus to punish the …mmm… what was it again?

Yes, this story is not complete, please review. Mmm… I'll send Cadavérique to haunt the science labs? weak grin


End file.
